If you are experiencing a sense of déjà vu, don’t be alarmed. You really did read about this last week too. That happened. But so did other things.
They often do.
Firstly, there was a crisis of confidence on my part, and I took the remix down soon after putting it up. I over thought things and I got worried about it. I didn’t sleep. I talked myself out of it.
I removed it from Soundcloud, deleted all references to it, and chipped away at it some more. The mix needed some revisions in places, there was perhaps too much reverb on the vocal, so I sent that away. These and other little details were fixed or dialled out.
Late that night, I was working on some other things and thinking of turning in when my email went off. Then it went off again. And again.
I’m not going to talk about what was contained within these communications, nor whom they were from. But for a few, very long, and thereafter totally silent days, I dared to believe that, by complete accident, a corner might be turned. That 16, 17 and 18 hour days for the past few years were going to have a little light shone upon them.
It looks like, for now, that won’t be the case. But this revised remix is however done. I had it remastered too - by someone else, and it sounds better for it.
What will I take from this? Living among the topography of this song for a while reconfirmed that I love it, I really love the album it comes from, and that the time I spent working on it was meaningful. To say the least.
As I was building up the initial rough mixes, I would burn them on to cd and take them out in my car. When it’s just you, the music and your headlights, it can possess you. It really should possess you. I didn’t feel like talking much, but these are still good memories, in hindsight.
Being encompassed by something is the best place for me.